i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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