We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
