Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You're like the curious george of whores
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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