She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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