So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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