anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
