; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
