she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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