Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize