I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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