I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
