Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
