Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
