doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
