now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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