I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
