My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
