you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
