Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize