just come out here and I will go home with you...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
