I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
did you just send me my own nude
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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