just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
