I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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