Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
