there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
