when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
