Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
