what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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