Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
