fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
