I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
