I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
