i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
