his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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