So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
