Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
