So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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