You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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