Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
