Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
