This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
