Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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