is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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