I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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