Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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