He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
