Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
