your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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