what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
even my farts smell like vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
