well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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