dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
