Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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