Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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