Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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