for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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