I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
