after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
