i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
