just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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