Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
