What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
