I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
