i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
